I'm here at the park for a run. It will be my first attempt at a full mile since my injury. I hope I don't feel any pain.
I walk over to the picnic table in the corner to stretch my calves. It's shaded and there's a gentle breeze to take my mind off of it being 80 degrees. I prop my right leg up on the bench and lean forward, looking out to the field ahead of me. There's a pavilion with a bunch of people running around, playing catch with a football. Smoke rises from a grill. Closer to me, there is a man swinging a child around his waist. The child is giggling. "Again, daddy!" he says.
Oh shit. It's Father's Day.
I switch legs.
What do people do on Father's Day? I can't even remember the last time I spent this day with my dad.
I bring my left leg back, turn around and walk over to the trail.
Here we go. I press the start button on my Timex, a beep sounds, and so do my feet, shuffling through the mud on the ground.
There is no foot pain. But my heart aches.
Yeah, we will never be able to make up the lost childhood where band recitals were missed, dances were never danced at father/daughter socials, and no golf clubs ever swung together on a Saturday morning. I know it was never meant to be this way. But life happens. Hell, injuries happen and we heal. Why can't this other pain go away so easily?
And just like that, I'm done with this run. 9:23. Not too bad for the first time out. I walk back to my car. Red eyes match the Powerade I reach for on the passenger seat.
I take a long sip and sniff back the tears that have turned into snots. I must stretch again.
At the same picnic table, I prop up the right leg, lean in. God, this stretch feels good.
Next to me now is a woman, mid-30s, on a blanket. She is lying down, face up, looking at the clouds.
Why isn't she with her father on this day? Did she grow up without one too? Or, wait...
Shit, my father is still alive. I jog back over to my car, open the door, and reach for my phone in the cup holder. I scroll through the address book, stopping at 'Dad'. I could text him, 'Happy Father's Day!', to avoid the awkward pauses in a phone conversation.
My thumb hits send.
It's ringing.
My stomach sinks.
"Hi Dad," I say.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Aqua Jog on Land
Though you will catch me walking sometimes, I am a runner again. Starting out slow, and with different arm form, I feel anew. Going slower has allowed me to stop and smell, well, the trees, especially when it rains.
I "ran" 9.5 miles this week- Mon-Wed-Fri included 3 minutes walking and 3 minutes running for an average of about 25 minutes. Today, I did a longer session, with more running periods- 2 min walking, 5 minutes running for about 37 minutes, covering roughly 3.5 miles. During that run, it started to downpour, so much so that it was as if I was being showered by the sky and prancing through bath water all at the same time. Simply amazing.
During the run I felt pain-free, efficient with my improved form, and in not too bad of shape, making me believe that the cross training has paid off. After the run, I felt little ache in the foot and proceeded to do foot drills in the wet grass. The socks were soaked already so it didn't matter being barefoot.
With this new form, I feel like a completely different runner than before the injury. And it just seemed to pop out of nowhere that maybe what I was doing with my arms for the last ten years was incorrect. I guess being on the disabled list and instead watching James's beautiful form helped me to see that. My goals have changed because of this, too. For the fall, I will start over and focus on the distance I was introduced to when I began running in 2000, the 5k.
I "ran" 9.5 miles this week- Mon-Wed-Fri included 3 minutes walking and 3 minutes running for an average of about 25 minutes. Today, I did a longer session, with more running periods- 2 min walking, 5 minutes running for about 37 minutes, covering roughly 3.5 miles. During that run, it started to downpour, so much so that it was as if I was being showered by the sky and prancing through bath water all at the same time. Simply amazing.
During the run I felt pain-free, efficient with my improved form, and in not too bad of shape, making me believe that the cross training has paid off. After the run, I felt little ache in the foot and proceeded to do foot drills in the wet grass. The socks were soaked already so it didn't matter being barefoot.
With this new form, I feel like a completely different runner than before the injury. And it just seemed to pop out of nowhere that maybe what I was doing with my arms for the last ten years was incorrect. I guess being on the disabled list and instead watching James's beautiful form helped me to see that. My goals have changed because of this, too. For the fall, I will start over and focus on the distance I was introduced to when I began running in 2000, the 5k.
Friday, May 28, 2010
My foot would like to update you...
Message from my right foot:
I am doing a lot better! I had a close call the other day though while barefoot so I will have to go back to napping, stretching, and wearing these really comfy shoes called Vibram Five Fingers. My owner also has been kind enough to occasionally ice me and rub me down. But sometimes she puts this weird thing on me at night called The Sock. Sometimes it digs into my friend, the calf, so she usually takes it off in the middle of the night. Lastly, she sometimes rolls a golf ball on me while standing up. This feels like it's ironing out the wrinkles on me. And I like that.
Alright, alright. Thank you foot for the update. So, as you can see, the time off from activity has been beneficial. So far, this summer has been going well, too. I am not in any classes but have been spending my time working on a manuscript for a contemporary fiction novel, which means most of my time is spent at a desk, not only exercising my mind but also allowing my foot to heal. I would like to thank my supportive boyfriend for helping make this "internship with myself" possible. I am able to experience the life of a writer and so far, I am loving it (meager pay, blank screens and all)! Other exciting news is that I will be going back to my high school this coming fall to be an assistant cross country coach. I am looking forward to this opportunity as it is something I've always wanted to do. I just didn't think it would be happening this soon. The team has some promising talent and still has Coach Gorby leading the way.
That's it for the updates. This warmer weather is teasing my foot but we'll be back out there soon enough!
I am doing a lot better! I had a close call the other day though while barefoot so I will have to go back to napping, stretching, and wearing these really comfy shoes called Vibram Five Fingers. My owner also has been kind enough to occasionally ice me and rub me down. But sometimes she puts this weird thing on me at night called The Sock. Sometimes it digs into my friend, the calf, so she usually takes it off in the middle of the night. Lastly, she sometimes rolls a golf ball on me while standing up. This feels like it's ironing out the wrinkles on me. And I like that.
Alright, alright. Thank you foot for the update. So, as you can see, the time off from activity has been beneficial. So far, this summer has been going well, too. I am not in any classes but have been spending my time working on a manuscript for a contemporary fiction novel, which means most of my time is spent at a desk, not only exercising my mind but also allowing my foot to heal. I would like to thank my supportive boyfriend for helping make this "internship with myself" possible. I am able to experience the life of a writer and so far, I am loving it (meager pay, blank screens and all)! Other exciting news is that I will be going back to my high school this coming fall to be an assistant cross country coach. I am looking forward to this opportunity as it is something I've always wanted to do. I just didn't think it would be happening this soon. The team has some promising talent and still has Coach Gorby leading the way.
That's it for the updates. This warmer weather is teasing my foot but we'll be back out there soon enough!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Cleveland Marathon, I was there...
...I got the shirt, I got the goodies, I got a DNS. However, I had fun biking along the course as James ran the 10k. Compared to when I watched the race back in 2007, it definitely has improved. They changed the start and finish lines, making it feel less crowded. There were a ton of port-o-johns so lines were not insane. Overall, it was a great day to run for those that were able to run.
In the meantime, I spent the last week or so doing easy treadmill work that did involve some running but only noticed a slight improvement with pain. So, I made the difficult decision to start all over. This type of injury is hard to overcome because when you are not running, you are still putting pressure on the injury whenever you walk. I haven't run since Thursday and have noticed decreased pain. But some hours during the day, it comes back to haunt me. And haunt me real bad.
I am going to take it week by week right now. All I want to be able to do at this point is run for 30 minutes on the Towpath, that's all. It can even be really slow. I hope resting like this will be the solution to this annoying problem.
In the meantime, I spent the last week or so doing easy treadmill work that did involve some running but only noticed a slight improvement with pain. So, I made the difficult decision to start all over. This type of injury is hard to overcome because when you are not running, you are still putting pressure on the injury whenever you walk. I haven't run since Thursday and have noticed decreased pain. But some hours during the day, it comes back to haunt me. And haunt me real bad.
I am going to take it week by week right now. All I want to be able to do at this point is run for 30 minutes on the Towpath, that's all. It can even be really slow. I hope resting like this will be the solution to this annoying problem.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Getting ansy!
Took some time off last week while traveling the roads of a few southern states. My mindset going in to the trip was to just relax and not worry about getting a workout in- a mental break of sorts. I have found in the past that after taking a week "off" any bothersome pain is nearly gone when I come back. I didn't take the whole week off, as I did a 6 mile hike in NC and ran away from annoying bumblebees on a disk golf course in VA. Both days there was some pain afterwards but the next day it was minimal. Since then, my achilles on the bum foot has been tight and the bottom of the heel still hurts somewhat.
I then "ran" for 10 minutes on Sunday and Monday to test it out. It was the most comfortable that I've felt running since becoming injured. I could probably start running now but in the long run it may not be a good idea as I started this injury adventure with similar pain. It's as if it's healing by reverting back to its original state- pre PF pain. Each week feels better and better, I just wish it would go away, or go back to normal, already. The hike and the little 10 minute jogs provided me with a sneak peak of what is to come once this is all said and done. Until then, I will continue to milk the rec's pool and maybe elliptical until my membership expires on May, 10th.
I then "ran" for 10 minutes on Sunday and Monday to test it out. It was the most comfortable that I've felt running since becoming injured. I could probably start running now but in the long run it may not be a good idea as I started this injury adventure with similar pain. It's as if it's healing by reverting back to its original state- pre PF pain. Each week feels better and better, I just wish it would go away, or go back to normal, already. The hike and the little 10 minute jogs provided me with a sneak peak of what is to come once this is all said and done. Until then, I will continue to milk the rec's pool and maybe elliptical until my membership expires on May, 10th.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Lessons Learned
It's been nearly one year since I added running back into my daily routine and made it a priority in my life. I started off with a few 1.5 mile jogs around my old neighborhood, worked my way up to including weekend long runs, integrated some tempo work, raced my first half marathon, started a marathon buildup that reached a 40 mile week, got injured, and currently cross training like never before. What an interesting ride it has been. While I will not be able to run the Cleveland Marathon this year, I will be running alongside my roommate, Emily Archer, as she runs her very first 5k. It was hard to succumb to my injury and pull out of the marathon but doing so has proved to be the biggest lesson I have learned-- PATIENCE.
- Once I decided that running was important enough to me that I would make training a daily occurrence and that certain life decisions would be based upon running goals, I realized that there is no need to rush training. A proper marathon buildup (especially for a beginner like me) will take longer than 3 months. In the next year, I plan to slowly focus on building up mileage, speed, and intensity, not run any marathons anytime soon, only run a race if the timing is right (i.e. don't register for a race 3 months in advance, rather register for low key races a few weeks out), and find a balance between training and life.
Other lessons:
- Being injured is not the end of the world, in fact it can be fun. I think I've made more strides and improvement in cross training than I have running. Never did I think I could muster up enough motivation to aqua jog for an hour, swim a mile, and be able to use the elliptical hands-free (ellipti-running) without falling off! Once I am ready to start running again, I feel that while I may not be ready to go fast at first, I will feel fresh, in shape, and stronger.
- When old "fast" paces start to feel easy, it means the work is paying off. When it feels hard, it means that work needs to be done. When I was starting to train hard, 7:30s felt quite easy. I had never been at such a level and that was encouraging for future training. It helped me to learn how to read my body.
- You don't have to be anal to be a runner. Being too anal will cause stress, anxiety, and OCDs to develop, like I can't run at night or I can't run after eating ice cream or I can't run without my iPOD or I can't run in Dickie's. Not being anal enough can also have a negative effect on training as well so the idea is to find a good balance. I'm still trying to figure out my ideal balance.
- STRETCH, STRETCH, AND MORE STRETCH-- especially my calves.
- A troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as letsrun.com
- EveryBODY is different- different responses to training, hours of sleep, training goals, outlooks on life, handling stress, the list goes on and on. What helps is learning about these differences, trying some out, and being open to suggestions.
With that all said, good luck to those who are running any of the races at the Cleveland Marathon, whether it's the full, the half, the 10k, or the 5k. I know there are quite a few of you out there! In the meantime, I am looking forward to the day (and I feel like it will be very soon) that I can join you all back on the pavement. And when that happens, I will feel like a new person.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Weekly Recap...just trying to be pain free at this point
Monday: 80 minutes in pool- 60 min aqua jog, 20 min swim
Tuesday: 50 minutes various activities (inc. running!)- went to Wooster to visit James's coach, Matt Woods, of Real Fitness. He offered some input on my foot, cross training, and marathon prep. Like I realized last week, there is no need to rush a marathon. It's best to ease back into it (started with 3 x 5 minutes of running). This approach will lengthen my base training and better prepare me for a fall marathon (pending no more injuries). I plan to try running every other day with this approach for the next week or two while cross training in between. The more I swim and aqua jog, the more I want to integrate it into my training when I am not injured! It will be interesting to see how it has payed off.
Wednesday: 73 minutes in pool- aqua jogging, 10 min w/up, 4 x mile simulations (7:35, 7:37, 7:29, 7:23) with 90 seconds rest in between (except last repeat, 2 min 40 sec rest to go pee), then 10 min cool down. Felt moderately difficult, heart rate got up to 160. After jog, swam 1000 meters around 24 minutes. My swimming is getting a little faster, but focusing more on duration and aerobic base than speed.
Thursday: Started off with 5 minute walking warm-up, excited as hell to try running again after having minimal pain all day. Then as soon as I started running, the pain kicked in. I couldn't even hold 2 minutes of running. I kept pronating inward on the bum foot. My form felt funny and I didn't want to adjust or compensate for the pain so I started walking again. I used 10 minutes as my warm-up then hit the stationary bike for 30 minutes and went up to the track to try walk/jog again. Duh me, the tighter curves didn't help with the pronating so that only lasted a minute. I went back to the treadmill to try walking but there was pain so I raised the white flag and called it a night. Currently, the foot is not getting any worse (when I'm not active) but it's not getting any better. I'm not going to start running again until the pain is all gone. F U plantar fasciitis!
Friday: 50 minute swim
Saturday: 60 minutes elliptical. Foot was feeling ok before workout then started to ache a lot afterwards. Not sure if this was due to incorporating a new cross training activity or the stupid PF. I think I will stick to swimming and biking as my main activities. Although, I felt like I had a nice workout aerobically, as I held a 6.8 mph pace (an improvement from my past elliptical efforts). I actually was averaging 7.5 mph for the first 30 minutes but bathroom troubles slowed me down for the last 30 minutes.
Sunday: Off
TOTAL: 5 hr 53 min cross training
Tuesday: 50 minutes various activities (inc. running!)- went to Wooster to visit James's coach, Matt Woods, of Real Fitness. He offered some input on my foot, cross training, and marathon prep. Like I realized last week, there is no need to rush a marathon. It's best to ease back into it (started with 3 x 5 minutes of running). This approach will lengthen my base training and better prepare me for a fall marathon (pending no more injuries). I plan to try running every other day with this approach for the next week or two while cross training in between. The more I swim and aqua jog, the more I want to integrate it into my training when I am not injured! It will be interesting to see how it has payed off.
Wednesday: 73 minutes in pool- aqua jogging, 10 min w/up, 4 x mile simulations (7:35, 7:37, 7:29, 7:23) with 90 seconds rest in between (except last repeat, 2 min 40 sec rest to go pee), then 10 min cool down. Felt moderately difficult, heart rate got up to 160. After jog, swam 1000 meters around 24 minutes. My swimming is getting a little faster, but focusing more on duration and aerobic base than speed.
Thursday: Started off with 5 minute walking warm-up, excited as hell to try running again after having minimal pain all day. Then as soon as I started running, the pain kicked in. I couldn't even hold 2 minutes of running. I kept pronating inward on the bum foot. My form felt funny and I didn't want to adjust or compensate for the pain so I started walking again. I used 10 minutes as my warm-up then hit the stationary bike for 30 minutes and went up to the track to try walk/jog again. Duh me, the tighter curves didn't help with the pronating so that only lasted a minute. I went back to the treadmill to try walking but there was pain so I raised the white flag and called it a night. Currently, the foot is not getting any worse (when I'm not active) but it's not getting any better. I'm not going to start running again until the pain is all gone. F U plantar fasciitis!
Friday: 50 minute swim
Saturday: 60 minutes elliptical. Foot was feeling ok before workout then started to ache a lot afterwards. Not sure if this was due to incorporating a new cross training activity or the stupid PF. I think I will stick to swimming and biking as my main activities. Although, I felt like I had a nice workout aerobically, as I held a 6.8 mph pace (an improvement from my past elliptical efforts). I actually was averaging 7.5 mph for the first 30 minutes but bathroom troubles slowed me down for the last 30 minutes.
Sunday: Off
TOTAL: 5 hr 53 min cross training
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