Lately, though, I haven't felt as such (for the majority of the day's hours). I attribute this awesome feeling to a change in my mindset. Throughout this year, I've grown quite a bit, which can be due to a lot of things: counseling, Biofeedback, a supportive boyfriend and family, and constantly learning new theories and techniques in my program in which I look to see how and if they fit into my own understanding of my self.
When things start to stress me out, I must remind myself to first chill out, take a few deep breaths and just let the discomfort pass through my body. Next, I must search for the confidence in myself that seems to float away during such moments. Once obtained, I proceed forward with it, doing what was intended, even if scared by such things (i.e. giving a speech, speaking my opinion, or trying to run fast). Lastly, I must continually remind myself that things don't need to be done in a stereotypical fashion. I have the power to choose my routes in life: There is no official requirement to work a 9-5, to be married, to have kids, or to own a house. I'm starting to get comfortable living how I want to live without worrying how it appears to others. It helps to have a boyfriend like James in this case :)
How does all of this pertain to running? Well, with not feeling rushed lately, my running has been amazing. I've logged up to 25 pain-free miles each week during the last four weeks, with strides, foot drills, and lifting. Never have I felt this strong! I'm running these miles based off of feeling and with no racing expectations in the near future. The goal is to continue to build, without any injury. Applying this to my theory above, I am focusing on feeling comfortable during each run, having confidence in my foot's new strength, and my ability to build miles, and lastly, not running for anyone else but myself-- no time to brag about, no race to run because everyone is doing it, nada. Doing all of this, combined with my Biofeedback work mentioned above, I feel the most in tune with my body than I have ever felt. This is going to come in handy next week when we land in Cusco, Peru, which is located some 11,000 feet above sea level.
Staying at altitude for about 10 days, I do not plan on working out much. We will have a stretch of two days where we will be at lower altitude and will be hiking during the day. On the other days, I plan to just take it easy, trying to breathe as best as I can, without freaking out at the changes my body will experience. I believe this trip will not only help my fitness but it will in turn, help me progress even further in my ability to handle anxiety.
