Winter running woes

I've always had a love-hate relationship with running during winter. Some days, there will be runs on fresh coats of snow, no wind, and if you're lucky, the sun is out. It's one of those pretty runs. Other days, there will be runs that also have a fresh coat of snow, snow that your shoes get constantly stuck in, along with wind in the face, and no sun. Last winter, I did a lot of running at night and dreaded it. This year, I've tried to mentally prepare myself for the crappiest of runs every time I head out the door. I know it's going to be cold, probably windy, and depressing (at first). With that mind set, it's a lot easier to run in the winter (so far). So when things that usually bother me aren't so much, it only makes sense for other challenges to arise, like today.

I headed out for a seven mile run that would start at my old apartment and take me out to my soon to be new place of residence, a blue carriage house in Akron's Highland Square. I would stop there and check on things and then head back to my old apartment, running a slightly different route back. Despite lots of wind on the way back, it went by fast and was an energizing run. When I was done, I went to the mailbox. My right thumb was cold and was struggling to turn the key to open the box. I started to freak, just a little, thinking I had frostbite. Eventually the key turned but when I got up to gather the mail, the mailbox key and my apartment key fell off one of the packages, disappearing into the snow. I searched for about five minutes until it got dark and more panic set in. I then felt the urgency to get somewhere warm. The only thing I could think of was running some 600 meters back down the hill to CVS. Luckily, I had my phone on me. Before the run I had thought it was a good idea to take it with me...

I dialed nearby friends to try and "rescue" me but what we really ended up doing was figuring out the number to my apartment complex. I would have to cave in and get charged a fee to open my door. Unfortunately that meant I had to go back outside and run or walk up that darn hill, with wet clothes and lips that now had a purple hue. With the "this is going to suck" attitude, I braved the cold once more and then remembered that I could stay warm (and wait the twenty minutes for maintenance) in the laundry room. The run/walk back wasn't so bad and three dryers were running, keeping the room extra toasty. Maintenance finally arrived and I also realized I had the original key at the apartment, so I was not charged a fee. Now an hour or so after my hour or so run, I was home. Still cold, shivering, and a little shaken. A hot shower and soup never felt so good.

The vacation that was Peru

The day before it was time to go back home, I was ready. I was ready to get back to Ohio and finish out the fall semester. I was ready to leave a country whose language I could hardily speak. When it finally happened, and I did my presentations and handed in papers, I was ready to go back to that country. I found myself missing the pace of life, its inhabitants who would greet you on the street asking to buy a massage or a picture with a Llama. I missed not having a car and walking the streets or riding with an unpredictable and erratic taxi driver. To me, though adventurous and busy, this vacation was an escape from my American reality. And that's what I missed the most.

The trip turned out to be more challenging than I thought, which was a good thing as it put me in my place as far as progress. One thing I've learned is that next time I should go into things blind and learn as I go because expectations of success or failure leave you fooled. Before the trip, I heavily researched altitude sickness in an effort to be fully prepared for its symptoms. The only thing that did was cause me to constantly look for its symptoms upon arrival. Thus, after the first day there, I over analyzed every step and breath taken. It was hard to relax.

Staying at altitude was a valuable experience on the fitness end of things. Yes, it did increase my anxiety during the first few days, making the source of nausea seem indistinguishable. And as scary as that was, I found it fascinating to be out of breath after combing my hair, sitting up in bed, or slowly walking up a few stairs. Now, whenever I run, I imagine that breathless feeling from such minimal activities and to not feel that breathless when I run makes me feel in amazing shape. I hope that when I begin speed work that this awareness can still apply.

Another experience that stood out for me, and one in which I can apply to both running and adversity, was hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. This was an instance where I did go into something blind. I had no idea that the section of the trail we hiked was only some three feet wide. This brought out a latent fear of heights. But even more challenging was going into the hike feeling slightly hungry, tired from a 3:30am wake up call, and carrying about 20lbs on my back, not to mention altitude, although it was lower here. I honestly felt as if the effort I was putting in was comparable to when I jogged a marathon, and not necessarily from the physical demands but rather, the mental demands. In all, it was about a total of four hours hiking. And with all the variables that could make my mind think negative, I survived and felt a sense of achievement.

The next day, we also hiked another mountain, Huayna Picchu, which overlooks the ruins of Machu Picchu. I was excited for this hike and felt fully capable after the previous day's success. However, this trail was more difficult and all up hill. My friend Emily and I were carrying a good pace but once we reached the top, not only was the fog still there (preventing us from seeing an amazing view) but I also noticed my hands swelling up. This freaked me out, not enough for a full on panic attack but enough to want to get the F outta there. The only problem was that it was just as dangerous going down as it was going up. Focusing on my breathing and taking careful steps, I calmed down and so did my hands, giving me another experience to draw on and take back with me, especially in those times when I get into "baby" mode.

Looking happy, with Emily, almost to the top

Just a glimpse of the minimalist trail

At the top, pissed off, crabby, swollen, want to get down.

I think that look is at James!

In all, the biggest lesson learned from the entire trip is that if I'm still breathing and conscious, I'm alive. You're probably thinking, "duh", but for someone like me, it was a huge wake up call. You see, I always assume the worst is going to happen, quite a common symptom of generalized anxiety. This trip was my first international travel experience and it included altitude, lots of transportation, and was two weeks long. James had to remind me of these out of character challenges quite often when I would get negative and irritable. Since being back, however, I've noticed more mental strength, even if I have to remind myself of it at times. There was a bit of a struggle to get back into a routine when I got back but it was helpful to let my body rest and control what it wanted to do, which was sleep and use the bathroom, a lot.

Generally speaking, I still think it is fascinating that you can be in a major city one moment and in an hour, be in another via the airplane. Traveling reminds me that there are so many different ways to live life. Our emotions may all be the same but the experiences, different. I look forward to seeing and living more of these experiences.

Owning the body

It's wonderful to not feel rushed. Much of my anxiety stems from the feeling of being rushed- whether it's with deadlines, urgency to find employment, arriving on time to an appointment or class, or feeling prepared enough to race. I think the fast paced nature of our American culture makes it easy to feel rushed, and subsequently neurotic.

Lately, though, I haven't felt as such (for the majority of the day's hours). I attribute this awesome feeling to a change in my mindset. Throughout this year, I've grown quite a bit, which can be due to a lot of things: counseling, Biofeedback, a supportive boyfriend and family, and constantly learning new theories and techniques in my program in which I look to see how and if they fit into my own understanding of my self.

When things start to stress me out, I must remind myself to first chill out, take a few deep breaths and just let the discomfort pass through my body. Next, I must search for the confidence in myself that seems to float away during such moments. Once obtained, I proceed forward with it, doing what was intended, even if scared by such things (i.e. giving a speech, speaking my opinion, or trying to run fast). Lastly, I must continually remind myself that things don't need to be done in a stereotypical fashion. I have the power to choose my routes in life: There is no official requirement to work a 9-5, to be married, to have kids, or to own a house. I'm starting to get comfortable living how I want to live without worrying how it appears to others. It helps to have a boyfriend like James in this case :)

How does all of this pertain to running? Well, with not feeling rushed lately, my running has been amazing. I've logged up to 25 pain-free miles each week during the last four weeks, with strides, foot drills, and lifting. Never have I felt this strong! I'm running these miles based off of feeling and with no racing expectations in the near future. The goal is to continue to build, without any injury. Applying this to my theory above, I am focusing on feeling comfortable during each run, having confidence in my foot's new strength, and my ability to build miles, and lastly, not running for anyone else but myself-- no time to brag about, no race to run because everyone is doing it, nada. Doing all of this, combined with my Biofeedback work mentioned above, I feel the most in tune with my body than I have ever felt. This is going to come in handy next week when we land in Cusco, Peru, which is located some 11,000 feet above sea level.

Staying at altitude for about 10 days, I do not plan on working out much. We will have a stretch of two days where we will be at lower altitude and will be hiking during the day. On the other days, I plan to just take it easy, trying to breathe as best as I can, without freaking out at the changes my body will experience. I believe this trip will not only help my fitness but it will in turn, help me progress even further in my ability to handle anxiety.

Healed.

I want to run for hours on end, a steady pace.

It's almost time to go, I feel it leaving.

A dark storm for the last seven months.

But it's having me feel so much stronger,

Than I've ever felt before.

30 minutes is not enough.

60 minutes feels like 15.

I failed before.

My strength, not strong enough.

Not this time.

It's leaving...

And in it's place, a newfound spirit.

Knowledge.

Drive.

A new mind.

I'm gonna do it.

Weekly total: 20.3 miles running, 1500 yards swimming

Under the half moon

It's midnight, on a Saturday.

Pitch black sky, but the moon is bright.

Somehow we made it out tonight.

Running.

It's actually kind of stupid when you think about it.

The simple act of moving our legs forward, swiftly.

We try to go faster each time.

But for what reason?

Three hills are on this route.

But we don't feel a darn thing.

The body, it's just going through the motions.

Where's the euphoria when you're done?

We've felt it before, but not on this one.

We don't have to have a reason, tonight.

Weekly Total: 15 miles running, 3750 yards swimming

The road includes more than just running

If you're reading this, you're probably sick of hearing about the healing foot. Try having the damn thing. The road to Boston, like progress, isn't linear. And it includes a few detours. The current detour has lasted about six months. Not only am I sick of having it, I'm sick of talking about its progress. And that's just it, it's making progress, even if it's slow. So, to keep you, lonely reader, which is mostly myself and sometimes James or my Mom, entertained, I've decided to twist this blog around to include the many paths and adventures traveled on my way to Boston someday. There's the injured path, the training path, and the life path, which includes school, work, and everything else.

Paths traveled this week:

Injury: Making progress.

Training: Traveled 12.8 miles this past week on foot and 3100 yards in water. It was a light week and even included a day off on Saturday. Running felt good, even tried waking up my fast twitch fibers on Thursday, only to have them want to remain slow twitch, but that bodes well for any marathon training. Since taking it down a notch and increasing cross training, I have felt stronger and in shape on all runs. Interesting. I also had a nice trail run on Wednesday morning. I love living close to six or so different trails...close enough to not have to drive.

Life: Had a midterm for a class that I freaked out about but there was no need to do so. In doing so, I realized that I tend to exhibit test anxiety with anger, withdrawal, and procrastination. This is good to know for the future, indeed. Work wise, the cross country team headed to the Legends Meet on Saturday. It was a great tune up for our upcoming "playoff" season.

Speaking of anxiety, you know how they tell you to go to a place that makes you happy when you become stressed or anxious? They usually suggest you imagine a beach scene. Well, the beach never quite worked for me. And I've struggled for so long with finding that comforting place. Until this past week. As odd as it sounds, my comfort place is a hospital bed! Whenever I get worked up (ala panic inducing feelings) I lay myself down and imagine I am in the hospital- in the care of others who will ensure that nothing bad is going to happen. Maybe I took so long to find this place in my head because I was afraid to let my mind explore the odd. Moral of the story? Next time you find yourself seeking "expert" advice, don't be afraid to think outside the box. Much of what is "expert" is merely a researched opinion. The difficult answers lie in you anyway.

Lastly, some of my heightened anxiety this week was probably attributed to, well, yes, being a female, ahem, but add to that, making the decision to embark on foreign travel. Yes, the road to Boston stops in Peru between November 17th and November 30th. James and I, along with his travel buddies, will be adventuring the Andes of Peru, including Lima, Cusco, and Machu Picchu. This leaves me overly excited and yeah, a little nervous. Last year, I told myself that I should embark on an "adventure" each year that puts various fears to the test. My 2 day trip to Miami, FL to meet this guy I met online was last year's adventure. Peru, and all of its glory, will be this year's. Habla Espanol?

This past week...

Monday: 3.4 miles

Trail run at Hampton Hills (8:48 pace)

Tuesday: 1650 yard swim

4 x 150 yard repeats (70 seconds rest in between each)- 2:34, 2:34, 2:38, 2:38 (last two with resistance from whirlpool)

Wednesday: 3 miles easy with 6 x 25 meter strides

Thursday: 1 mile easy with team, 1250 yard swim

5 x 50 yard swim repeats (30 seconds rest in between each)- 42, 44, 44, 44, 44 (HUGE improvement!)

Friday: 3 miles treadmill

Saturday: 17 mile bike ride through the rain and mud

Sunday: 2150 yard swim

34:13 for 1600 meters

TOTAL: 10.4 miles running, 17 miles biking, 2.8 miles swimming

Weekly Recap (X-Train week)

Monday: 3 miles easy

Team run. Wore inserts and took it slow. Pain free during run. Dealing with some pain afterwards.

Tuesday: 30 minute swim (1250 yards)

Wednesday: 40 minute swim (1600 yards), 20 minute aqua jog

Thursday: 30 minute swim (1250 yards)

Friday: 1 mile run with team, then pool workout- 12 lap warm-up, 10 x 50 sprint simulations, 12 lap cool down (1700 yards)

It's a lot harder to get faster in the pool than it is to get faster on land, at least for me. I definitely improved on my sprints (used to do these in about 58-60 seconds, now averaging 53 seconds). Those are still slow times, about a 30 minute per mile pace, which is the average time it takes for a swimmer to swim a mile and this felt nearly all-out. But for me it's nice to see my extra time spent in the pool pay off. I'm glad I found a cross training activity that challenges me just as much as running and makes me feel like I worked hard at the end of the day.

Saturday: 2 miles

My biggest accomplishment this week was a short 2 mile run at midnight on a golf course. It was an accomplishment because it was late at night, cold, I was on my foot all day, and I was dreading it. The last couple of runs with such a scenario have turned out terrible but on this night, it went well and I was glad I was able to overcome the variables and be PAIN FREE! This will hopefully be good practice for winter training.

Sunday: 1600 meter swim

New pool PR! 34:49, nearly six minutes off my previous best. Still slow but working my way up to the average miler swimmer. I didn't go all out. Rather I started off with a breast stroke lap then did 4 freestyle laps emphasizing kicking hard and then continued with one breast stroke lap as a recovery then repeated the 4 laps of freestyle for a total of 33 laps. It felt like a quality workout.

TOTAL: 6 miles running, 4.2 miles swimming

Emphasized cross training this week to let all the scar tissue heal on the heel. Foot hasn't felt this good since January as a result. The next few weeks will continue to be lower running mileage and higher cross training output.

Progress isn't linear

I raced another 5k on Sunday, September 19th in Cuyahoga Falls. The course was advertised as fast and flat but in actuality it was slow and rolling. However, that made for a great training effort (22:44). The effort felt a lot harder than the previous 5ks but it could be because I didn't warm up as early or as long as I am used to and I didn't get much sleep the last two nights. Or, it just wasn't my time that day. Or the obvious, it was a slower course. I can try to analyze what went wrong all I want but I'd rather focus on the positives, not only in the race but with the progress made in the last year:

Race-wise positives:

• 6:56 first mile
• Felt like I was pushing myself the entire time
• A female passed me around 2.5 miles but I battled back and got her at the finish line
• Won my age group
• Foot hurt afterwards but nothing tore

Other positives:

• Took some time off after that race and foot has been feeling better than ever
• Not in tip-top shape and yet I'm running at my previous PR times
• 1.5 minutes faster than last year

My man friend has told me that progress isn't linear, a couple times actually. But after this weekend it finally stuck. I'm not going to get from point A to point B to point C in a straight line (i.e. improve each race). Rather, the process is going to cycle, with some ups and downs, dips, highs and lows. Each time however, I will learn something new and keep making contributions to my fitness.

Weekly Recap (Racing Week)

Monday: 1.5 miles

Easy run with the team that included cleaning up our course to prepare for our home meet. Was going to run in the evening but ran into some painful bathroom issues instead.

Tuesday: OFF

Planned to run after the home invitational but I realized that the longer I am on my feet for most of the day, the more my foot pain acts up. The good thing is that I hadn't taken a day off from any activity in about three or so weeks. However, I started to feel a little guilty and worrisome that this would hurt my fitness as the night went on. But dinner and a movie with the boy quickly fixed that.

Wednesday: 6 miles

Definitely kept the pace slow, which was the goal, and surprisingly it felt refreshing. I have been a little bit more worried about the foot since last week so that has been having an effect on how I feel about racing this Sunday. I have to remind myself to take it day by day, prepare for some pain after runs or standing all day, and keep doing my rehab exercises.

Thursday: 6 miles (track workout)

1 mile w/up, 1 mile c/down

2000, 1600, 1200, 800, 400 + 1 x 200, 2 x 100 strides

2000: 9:50 (2:30 rest)

1600: 7:49 (2:00 rest)

1200: 5:45 (90 rest)

800: 3:39 (85 rest)

400: 1:39 (80 rest)

No foot pain so workout was a-go. Done late at night again. Cooler than the last couple of late night workouts and I felt it in my lungs a little bit. Started off somewhat rough but evened out and finished strong. Goal was, again, to be controlled and as James put it, save some leftovers for the race.

Friday: 50 minutes in the pool

19 minutes pool running, 31 minutes swimming. Foot was very achy upon waking up, so I did my recovery day in the pool. Also massaged it under the spa nodules and made sure to ice, wear inserts, golf ball, do all the good stuff immediately. It's feeling better.

Saturday: 3.4 miles easy

Sunday: Cuyahoga Falls Natatorium 5k

22:40ish. Pain free for the race but feeling it afterward. Time to back down :(

(but cross train like a madwoman!)

Total: 21 miles running, 1100 meters swimming

Weekly Recap (Racing Week)

Monday: 6.1 miles (RACE)

1 mile warm up, 1 mile cool down, 1 mile race and 5k race

1 mile goal time: 6:15

1 mile actual time: 6:24 (went out too fast, at 5:40-ish pace!)

5k goal time: 22:40 (based off of racing mile 30 minutes prior)

5k actual time: 22:16 (in shape!)

Tuesday: 3.5 miles easy

Wednesday: 1500 meter swim

The foot was hurting since the race so decided to take it easy and give it a break from land

Thursday: 6 miles, track workout

1 mile warm up, 4 x 1600, 2 x 200, 2 x 100, 1 mile cool down

1600s: 7:52, 7:45, 7:42, 7:32 (85 seconds rest in between each, hit all goal times)

200s: 44, 42

100s: 19, 17

All repeats felt controlled (which was the goal of this threshold workout). James paced me on the 2nd and 4th repeat and those felt the easiest. Overall, felt fresh and energetic, even with the cooler temps. I added the 200s and 100s afterwards for some stride work. They weren't all out (except maybe the last 100 which made me feel really slow!) and the 200s were meant to mimic future mile race pace.

Friday: 1600 meter swim

Taking it easy with the foot. It is starting to feel better but since there was significantly more pain this week, I decided the pool was a better choice for a recovery day.

Saturday: 4 miles steady state run

Did not intend to do this as a quasi-workout (32:26, 8:06 pace) but I wasn't sure of what I would do this weekend racing/time trial/workout wise. Between a little more foot pain, a planned 5k race being called off due to traveling issues, and an idea to do a mile time trial on Sunday, I had a lot of "what ifs". So when it came time to run, I just wanted to hold a quicker controlled pace which I thought would be 8:30 but as I mentioned before, I still haven't figured out paces. Lesson learned. Legs felt good and foot pain subsided after 15 minutes which leads me to believe it's just some scar tissue that I need to work on getting rid of. So no race this weekend (rescheduled a 5k for next Sunday), no mile time trial, and an easy recovery day on Sunday. This day was nice but I have to watch it next time because if I increase the intensity too much too soon, I'll risk being injured again or won't have positive fitness gains.

Sunday: 1500 meter swim, 20 minutes aqua jogging

60 minutes total in the pool

Total: 20 miles running, 4600 meters swimming

Increased intensity a lot this week and more foot pain indicated so. I kept the mileage shorter because of this.

The six minute range

On Monday, September 6th, I took my chances with doubling up in the racing department at the Aurora Labor Day Classic 1 mile and 5k. I chose to focus more on the mile. The result indicates I need help in the speed department and some more aerobic work. However, I also still need help in the pacing department as I went out way too quick and then died around the halfway mark. Looking back, I guess it wasn't that bad. I started in front thinking I would avoid all the kids doing the run but as soon as the horn went off, I realized that I should have let them go, knowing they would take off sprinting. I fell into their pace and had about a 76 sec 400 meters. I am not there yet. At 800 meters, I was on pace for a 6 flat but came back 20 some seconds slower and finished in 6:24. My blind eyes couldn't see where to stop either so I stopped early, adding a few seconds to my time. No excuse though as I was taught to go through the shoot. I even reinforce it with the XC team every week and here I go, ignoring my own rule!

Overall it was a good effort, especially for going in blind. This was about a 10 second PR and a first place female finish. More importantly, this effort introduced my body to the six minute range, a range I would like to be able to start racing at. Taking a few days to let what disappointment I had fizzle, I was able to find a positive perspective: At the beginning of the summer, I went out and did a mile at a pace that felt "all out" and the result was a 7:46. In two months, all out is now 6:24 (well, almost 5:40 if I could've held that starting pace, which felt all out).

For the 5k, I didn't know what to expect feeling wise, especially after feeling slightly disoriented after the mile, so I set my expectations low. This proved beneficial and demonstrated my fitness when I finished 1 second faster than last week in 22:16 (consistency even when going in to the race with non-fresh legs). I finished 3rd overall female but there were quite a few in the 22s behind me. I held 3rd place for much of the race so I was left trying to race guys. I passed a few at the end but also got passed by a few at the end. I definitely could have had a stronger kick and I need to remember that for next time. I felt even the entire time, something positive I noticed during the last two 5ks. In the past, I went out way too hard and died around 1.5 miles, kind of like the mile! I am happy with how the day turned out. This whole racing into shape is fun! Also nice when you win gift cards for running, kind of fast.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 4.5 miles easy

Tuesday: 4.5 miles easy

Split up the run, a little run at practice then 30 minutes at night. Had (lots of) Olive Garden a few hours before and then crashed around 19 minutes, felt like crap, dizzy. Got through it after switching with James on the bike.

Wednesday: 3.5 miles easy w/ inclines

Went out with mostly down hill terrain and then rolling up hills on the way back around downtown Akron between class and had the same time splits both ways.

Thursday: 7 miles track work

1 mile warm-up and 1 mile cool down, 2-1-2 (2 miles, 3 min rest, 1 mile, 2 min rest, 2 miles)

2 mile- 15:44 (7:52, 7:52), right on target pace, ate a little too much before workout so was feeling the food on this first set

1 mile- 7:30, goal was 7:40 but felt good at this pace. James paced me the first two laps and then I kind of picked it up without much awareness. Oddly enough, this set felt the best.

2 mile- 15:42 (7:51, 7:51), felt better than the first 2 miler and got into a rhythm quick

Friday: 1 mile on cool down with team, 1250 meter swim

I love going to the pool, so refreshing on my joints!

Saturday: 7.5 miles long

60 min on roads, 15 min on trails. Body aches around 55 minutes but snapped out of it quick. For the most part felt light and smooth.

Sunday: 45 minutes on elliptical

Total: 28 miles, 1250 meters swim, 45 minutes elliptical

It felt like an up and down week during the easy runs but had another good track workout that felt controlled. Racing a mile and 5k tomorrow. A little nervous but overall excited as I like the shape that I am in right now.

I'm back, but just beginning.

The last time I trained for a 5k was in 2003 and it was a very low mileage program, mostly consisting of 200s-800s and one run over 5 miles once a week. Somehow that year I ran my "outdated" PR of 22:11. Seven years later, I significantly upped my mileage, starting the year out in the 30-40 miles a week range, then got injured (hmmm, I wonder why?), then cross trained for about three months, and now I have been running around 20-25 miles a week for the last two months. I would like to get up to 30 miles a week, with minimal foot pain, and race a couple 5ks, a Turkey Trot, and some time trials at the track (1600 & 3200) because my high school PRs are way outdated.

The Buckeye Half Marathon put on a 5k with their race today. It was my first 5k this year and judging on how it turned out, the first time I actually raced. My goal was to run a 22:45. With that time goal in mind, I felt like I had a little more left in me to surprise myself and I did just that. I didn't get much sleep the last couple of days but tried to stay positive. Taking it easy three days out proved to be beneficial. I felt as if I was resting the reserves of fitness I had built up in the last 2 months before turning loose today. I didn't wear my watch and splits weren't being called so I had to go off feeling. I felt strong in the first mile, a little exhausted after that, but tried my hardest to focus on form and feeling light. Mile 1.5-2 had somewhat of a downhill so I used it to my advantage to attempt to pass a female that had passed me right before the end of the first mile. I just kept focusing on her, knowing I could pass her. I wanted to race today and something I feel like I never did in a race was actually race. Funny as it sounds, I usually went out with no recognition of pace, died around 2 miles, and continually got passed. But armed with new knowledge and more fitness, I took a risk and passed her with 800 meters to go. When she got water, I told myself that I couldn't let someone taking water in a 5k or wearing a long sleeve shirt for that matter, beat me. As soon as she slowed to take a sip, I zipped right passed her. Immediately I heard her try to pick up and so I picked it up and started thinking, "Shit, what did I just do? Am I kicking it too early?" I quickly blocked out these thoughts and tried to remain focused on form, buoyancy, and the minor incline ahead of me. When we made the turn towards the finish, I was tempted to look back and see how much room I had between us but instead, I focused forward. As soon as I saw the chute, I picked it up as much as I thought I could (I could've picked up harder, mental note for next time). I squinted to see the clock, thinking it said 23 something and got upset, and slowed just a tad before seeing 22:10. I then picked it up (again, could've picked it up a bit more) and 7 seconds later I was done (22:17, 7:10 pace). Granted it was a little race but I felt that I earned my fourth place female overall and age group win because of my risk to pass long-sleeved water drinking lady.

My fall season 5k goal was to run a 21:40 but now I think I can go faster. Long term, my goals are pretty high. It's somewhat of a challenge to make a big deal out of my times now, knowing that in the racing community, they are pretty slow. But deep inside, I feel like I am armed with the knowledge that was missing before to run faster. Part of that knowledge involves being patient and starting with small goals. Plus, patience truly is a virtue, just kind of sucks sometimes because it takes a while. Duh. Deep down, I am celebrating after today's race but my head tells me not to get too excited.

My goals for the rest of this year

Run the following races and improve each time:

September 6th Aurora Labor Day 1 mile and 5k

September 12th River Run 5k (pending no foot pain)

3200 time trial week of September 20th

October 10th Jump Back Jog 5k

Time trial(s) between October 17th and October 31st

November 25th Turkey Trot 4 miler

December 4th Reindeer Run (depending on the weather, would like this to be my fall PR race but might be hard if there is snow on the ground)

My goals for next year

Build up to 40 miles a week

Race on an indoor/outdoor track

Run a few spring 5ks

Run a spring 10k

Run another summer/fall racing schedule, with a goal of breaking 19 minutes in the 5k

Run a longer fall race

Long term goals (2012-2013)

Build up to 50-60 miles a week

Continue improving 5k and 10k times

Train for a spring half marathon

Train for a fall marathon and reach the Boston qualifier mark

Weekly Recap (Racing Week)

Monday: 3.5 miles

Easy on trails

Tuesday: 4.5 miles

Fartlek-type run on Pine Hollow trails, focused on pushing the hills

Wednesday: 4.5 miles

Moderate track workout- 3 x 1600 at moderate/controlled paces, 90 seconds rest in between each, 1.5 miles of warm up and cool down. Hit my target goals of 8:00, 7:50, and 7:40. I had a terrible blister so I wore my trainers, felt heavy in the legs as a result. Overall, I was tired coming in to this so I felt like crap the entire time. However, for feeling like shit, I hit my time goals and so I'll use that as a good lesson the next time I don't feel all there.

Thursday: 4 miles

Easy and slightly achy run plus 5 x 200 meter grass stride-outs. I cut the run short because the foot was being a pain.

Friday: 1 mile, 40 minutes in the pool

Easy pre-race run with the team then hit the pool for a 1250 meter swim and 10 minutes of aqua jogging.

Saturday: 60 minutes on the elliptical

Cut back just a little on the running this week as my foot hurt a bit.

Sunday: 7 miles (1st RACE BACK!)

Buckeye 5k plus 1 mile warm up and 3 mile cool down

Goal time: 22:45

Actual time: 22:17

Total: 24.5 miles

Weekly Recap

Monday: 3.6 miles including 5k Cross Country race

Only time I will get to race with the team so I took my chances and rusted out a 24:16. Afterwards Gorby was showing me my times from high school and it's safe to say I beat my high school XC PR. Considering about a month and half ago a 7:49 mile felt hard, I'll take being able to run three 7:49 miles in a row on a somewhat hilly course. I didn't plan on going all out anyway and felt controlled the entire race. I was able to pick off quite a few runners throughout the race and accomplished my goal of remaining even. Looking back, I feel like I could've pushed the last mile a bit more so I will keep that in mind for the future.

Tuesday: 4 miles

Trail run in Sand Run park with strides and drills afterwards. Nice, refreshing run with some rolling hills.

Wednesday: 3 miles

Easy recovery run

Thursday: 6 miles (track workout: 1 mile warm-up, 2 x 3200, 1 mile cool-down)

1st 3200: 15:20 (7:45, 7:35)

3 minute rest

2nd 3200: 15:10 (7:40, 7:30)

Started the workout at midnight so struggled a bit during the warm-up but once I got going it felt great- even splits on each lap, except for the first mile, where it took a while to get locked in...but this is what practice is for. I didn't feel like I went all out and I was very happy that I could switch gears when needed and finish faster each time. I was right on time with what I wanted to do the workout in. This workout also helped me differentiate between what it means to race and what it means to train. James says you want to have a little left in you after a workout whereas in a race, it takes a little magic. Yeah, you want to aim for even splits and a powerful ending but you are also given the go-ahead to test your limits. If I can get a decent first mile in during a 5k that isn't a crazy fast pace, I think I can put what I have learned so far together to piece a nice finish.

Friday: 3 miles easy, 1250 meter swim

Saturday: 45 minutes on elliptical

Sunday: 7 miles

hilly, decent pace for a longer run

Total: 26.6 miles running, 1250 meters swimming, 45 minutes elliptical

Weekly Recap

Monday: 5 miles

approximately two miles were done at a tempo pace (14:06)- felt some lactic acid on this one! I didn't want to overwork my foot so I took the second loop easy.

Tuesday: 4.5 miles

track ladder- 400, 800, 1600, 800, 400 (90 seconds rest between 4 and 8, 2min rest between 8 and 16, and 2.5 min rest between 16 and 8)

400s- 93, 93 (felt controlled on the first one, the last one felt slightly more taxing but great finish wise.)

800s- 3:23, 3:30 (first one felt controlled. the second one I struggled with the transition to a faster pace after the 1600 but had negative splits for the two laps, 1:48/1:42, after realizing I had some room to make up- didn't hurt to do so either.)

1600- 7:25 (felt controlled the entire time. I question whether I am able to carry this pace yet for a 5k but looking at the workout overall, I believe I am strong enough to have a good first race back.)

Overall, the entire workout felt controlled. My times were right on target with what I planned on doing and nothing ever felt overly difficult. I do believe this workout solidified my theory that all my spring cross training paid off. I'm back to where I left off...and I haven't even reached my weekly mileage goals yet.

Wednesday: 1 mile, about 20 minutes of walking as well

Easy recovery day. Wish I could've gotten a swim in as well but not too down as I haven't had a day off in a while and it was probably a smart thing to do for my rehabbing foot.

Thursday: 4 miles

Trail loop- 200 meter stretches of strides with a slow, rolling recovery.

Friday: 75 minutes of cross training

30 minute swim- improved my 1000 meter time by 1 minute, swam a total of 1250 meters. Biked to and from campus (utilizing hills) and a little after the swim for a total of 45 minutes.

Saturday: 4 miles

Nighttime run around Aurora while James biked- tables turned, unfortunately.

Sunday: 6 miles

At 6:30pm, I had three pieces of cake. At 7:30pm, I ran these 6 miles. At 8:30pm, I didn't puke. It was a nice run into the sunset on the Towpath section near my old 'hood in Cleveland

Total: 24.5 miles

Weekly Recap

Monday- 3 miles easy

Tuesday- 1.8 miles easy- odd distance, practice was rushed for parent meeting but provided a chance to save miles for later in the week.

Wednesday- 4 miles

Thursday- 3 miles- 2 easy, 1 at 7:48 pace which also felt easy. Went to Sand Run after practice to add more quality to the day and told myself to run at a pace that felt efficient. Apparently 7:48 felt efficient. Strides afterwards.

Friday- 1.5 miles- an easy mile with sprints and strides during camp workout

Saturday- 7 miles- early morning 5 miles with team at camp followed by pool work, an easy run in the afternoon, and some Yoga. Foot held up.

Sunday- 3.5 miles- early morning run to end camp, which went well!

Total: 23.8

Tried to focus on form a lot this week and awareness of fitness level during each run. On the shorter runs, I tried to hold a faster pace to see if it felt manageable. That little experiment proved beneficial because it made me realize that I could run easy in the 8-9 minute range just fine. I used to think that if I did that everyday I would burnout. But holding that notion was another form of anxiety taking control. Running efficient may hurt a little at first but with practice it becomes the norm for the body. Just working out the kinks right now. And if the foot continues to hold up, I'll be one step closer to where I want to be.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 3 miles

Trail run to prove Sunday's run was a fluke. Foot felt fine. Went on some nice, challenging trails/meadows in Pine Hollow.

Tuesday: 4 miles

Varying 800s and 400s (3:30mod, 2:58hard, 3:33mod, 3:15mod-hard, 3:30mod, 1:40hard, 2:00recovery). Alternated between moderate and hard pace. The 2:58 came as a surprise. When I went to do the 2nd hard 800, I about died at the 2nd half but looking back, I just got scared at what my body was feeling and slowed down. Next time, I'll test it a bit more.

Wednesday: 2 miles

2nd stab at a late night run = success! A lot of my pain issues might possibly stem from a psychological standpoint.

Thursday: 5 miles

Easy trail run

Friday: 1.5 miles running, 4 miles walking, 30 minutes biking, 1000 meter swim (2.5 hrs activity total)

1 mile hard in 7:20, wanted to see where my mile time was at. About a month ago it was at 7:46 on this same route so I did improve. I didn't feel too exhausted after a 7:20 and in fact, I tried to stay at this somewhat uncomfortable/anxiety-provoking state when my mind wanted to do otherwise, which proved to be very insightful for me. I probably could have started a little slower but overall, satisfied, especially considering I still haven't done as much distance training yet because of the foot.

Saturday: Rest

Sunday: 5 miles

Sand Run out and back. Started off rough but picked it up on the way back (8:38 pace). Best part is that my foot felt fine during and after the run.

Total: 20.5 miles running, 1000 meters swimming

Added a little more mileage this week and felt some pain mid-week but after Friday, it subsided. A rest day on Saturday also helped. On Friday, I cut caffeine from my diet again. Right now, I am just testing it out. My anxiety seems to have been a lot higher lately and I am looking into caffeine having an effect on this. It's not necessarily causing it but since I am sensitive to it, eliminating it can only make the situation better- you would think. The past few days I have felt the withdrawal effects- the headaches seem worse this time around and I feel cranky. We'll see how long it lasts. I wish I could just have a cup every couple of days and not feel withdrawal. Maybe I'll have to make friends with decaf soon.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 3.1 miles

Trail run by my apartment. Handled hills a lot better on this one, didn't have to stop. If I can't go fast yet, climbing hills is just as challenging.

Tuesday: 5.1 miles

Pacer duties, 25:55 XC 5k total, 2 miles cool down

Wednesday: 1000 meter swim, 12 miles biking

Took it easy because I put some stress on the foot Tuesday.

Thursday: 2.5 miles

Easy trail run

Friday: 3 miles

Hampton Hills trail with Abby, didn't have to stop after stair climb section! But kept tripping on roots, no falls though.

Saturday: 60 minutes on elliptical

Even when it's hot, I'd rather be outside than indoors and on a machine. Except yesterday. And I didn't want to do my pseudo long run on a treadmill.

Sunday: 3.8 miles

Wanted to do 5 miles but got a late start (midnight) and the cooler temps made my foot act up- hurt a lot. I also had indigestion. I ended this disorganized jaunt with 4 strides that got me feeling better and awakened some muscles I haven't used in a while. Better to have taken it easy than to keep pushing through pain. And 3.8 is better than nothing at all I guess.

Total: 17.5 miles running, 12 miles biking, 1000 meters swimming, 6.5 miles elliptical

I am being as smart as I can be with my mileage increase, even if it feels slow. But going too fast is what brought me to this point. XC season is on the verge of starting daily so this week is crucial for being smart and patient. Pacing all the different groups of runners provides a nice balance between speed work and taking it easy for injury's sake. What makes it a challenge is feeling disorganized by being all over the place. However, I have to remind myself that they are at different points in the process than I- I can use these runs towards my base. And at the same time, coach them to their potential.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 3 miles on golf course

Legs felt fresh towards the end, like real fresh! 30 minutes biking afterwards with James on the rest of his run.

Tuesday: 3 miles

Easy run with XC team on trails. Biked 20 minutes in the afternoon as transportation to/from campus.

Wednesday: 2 miles on Ledges trail

Hilly=good practice, definitely plays tricks on me physiologically and as a result, mentally. Biked 10 miles with James in the AM on his tempo run.

Thursday: 5 miles

Mostly trails with XC team. Nice distance day. Foot handled it well, slightly achy afterwards though.

Friday: 3 miles

Hampton Hills trails with Brianna. Can't wait to build up distance to support my fitness on hills. Biked 20 minutes as transportation to/from campus, swam 1000 meters, very refreshing. Massaged heel under spa jets- really worked out the tightness!

Saturday: 20.6 mile bike ride

Simulated a long run on the Hike and Bike Path. Heart rate was pretty consistent. It was hot and I should have worn sun screen. Handled the inclines well. No foot pain!

Sunday: 40 min bike, 10 mins of pool stuff

Biked on Towpath and to/from campus, was going to swim but forgot goggles and cap so just did some strength stuff in the pool and then massaged my feet under the spa jets again.

Total: 16 miles running, 4 hours biking, 1000 meters swimming

Finding it somewhat of a challenge to hold back with the running but cross training has helped release some of the tension and keep me in shape. I do feel in shape. And all of the runs this week were based off feeling and not paces. Each week, I add 1-2 miles and as sad as it sounds, I look forward to that. But focusing on the little things makes being patient a little easier.

An honest 7:46 mile

Last Friday, I set out to run a mile, putting a little effort into it, just to see how it would feel and to get some aggression out of my system. It was, well, it felt harder than 7:46, more like a 7:10. But it told me a few things. One, my cross training this past spring helped. It could've been a lot slower but the biking and swimming seemed to have preserved some of the fitness I built up before my injury. Two, I have my work cut out for me. I still suffer from some pain after runs but during the runs, my legs feel fresh, enough to start focusing on getting faster. However, it's going to take a lot of time to get where I want to be. And that's where the honesty comes into play. Since I am injury prone, I'm going to focus more on shorter distances but at a quicker pace, in both training and racing. I don't think I will do more than 40 miles a week to finish the year out.

This week, I am looking to get in 15 miles and eventually finish out the summer between 20 and 30, playing it safe with the foot. I've begun practicing with the cross country team and they've kept me honest as well. I think an adult runner can learn an important lesson from a high school runner: run by feel. Many of these kids don't run with watches, don't know what pace they are going and don't know what a tempo run is but they still go out there and run, with a sense of innocence. I was like that in high school. And now that I am older and working with kids, I'm reminded to try and balance the mindset of an adult runner with the mindset of a high school runner. When I run with them, I notice they push as hard as they can to stay together and when their bodies tell them otherwise, they stop. Where the adult runner comes into the picture is me, encouraging them to focus on breathing and letting them know they must pace themselves, that it's still early in the season and they are working towards getting in shape. But I can't discount the need to want to push themselves merely just to push themselves, like children racing against each other in an open field. And I can't forget to do that with my running either. Running that 7:46 mile was me being a kid again.

I ran on Father's Day

I'm here at the park for a run. It will be my first attempt at a full mile since my injury. I hope I don't feel any pain.

I walk over to the picnic table in the corner to stretch my calves. It's shaded and there's a gentle breeze to take my mind off of it being 80 degrees. I prop my right leg up on the bench and lean forward, looking out to the field ahead of me. There's a pavilion with a bunch of people running around, playing catch with a football. Smoke rises from a grill. Closer to me, there is a man swinging a child around his waist. The child is giggling. "Again, daddy!" he says.

Oh shit. It's Father's Day.

I switch legs.

What do people do on Father's Day? I can't even remember the last time I spent this day with my dad.

I bring my left leg back, turn around and walk over to the trail.

Here we go. I press the start button on my Timex, a beep sounds, and so do my feet, shuffling through the mud on the ground.

There is no foot pain. But my heart aches.

Yeah, we will never be able to make up the lost childhood where band recitals were missed, dances were never danced at father/daughter socials, and no golf clubs ever swung together on a Saturday morning. I know it was never meant to be this way. But life happens. Hell, injuries happen and we heal. Why can't this other pain go away so easily?

And just like that, I'm done with this run. 9:23. Not too bad for the first time out. I walk back to my car. Red eyes match the Powerade I reach for on the passenger seat.

I take a long sip and sniff back the tears that have turned into snots. I must stretch again.

At the same picnic table, I prop up the right leg, lean in. God, this stretch feels good.

Next to me now is a woman, mid-30s, on a blanket. She is lying down, face up, looking at the clouds.

Why isn't she with her father on this day? Did she grow up without one too? Or, wait...

Shit, my father is still alive. I jog back over to my car, open the door, and reach for my phone in the cup holder. I scroll through the address book, stopping at 'Dad'. I could text him, 'Happy Father's Day!', to avoid the awkward pauses in a phone conversation.

My thumb hits send.

It's ringing.

My stomach sinks.

"Hi Dad," I say.

Aqua Jog on Land

Though you will catch me walking sometimes, I am a runner again. Starting out slow, and with different arm form, I feel anew. Going slower has allowed me to stop and smell, well, the trees, especially when it rains.

I "ran" 9.5 miles this week- Mon-Wed-Fri included 3 minutes walking and 3 minutes running for an average of about 25 minutes. Today, I did a longer session, with more running periods- 2 min walking, 5 minutes running for about 37 minutes, covering roughly 3.5 miles. During that run, it started to downpour, so much so that it was as if I was being showered by the sky and prancing through bath water all at the same time. Simply amazing.

During the run I felt pain-free, efficient with my improved form, and in not too bad of shape, making me believe that the cross training has paid off. After the run, I felt little ache in the foot and proceeded to do foot drills in the wet grass. The socks were soaked already so it didn't matter being barefoot.

With this new form, I feel like a completely different runner than before the injury. And it just seemed to pop out of nowhere that maybe what I was doing with my arms for the last ten years was incorrect. I guess being on the disabled list and instead watching James's beautiful form helped me to see that. My goals have changed because of this, too. For the fall, I will start over and focus on the distance I was introduced to when I began running in 2000, the 5k.

My foot would like to update you...

Message from my right foot:

I am doing a lot better! I had a close call the other day though while barefoot so I will have to go back to napping, stretching, and wearing these really comfy shoes called Vibram Five Fingers. My owner also has been kind enough to occasionally ice me and rub me down. But sometimes she puts this weird thing on me at night called The Sock. Sometimes it digs into my friend, the calf, so she usually takes it off in the middle of the night. Lastly, she sometimes rolls a golf ball on me while standing up. This feels like it's ironing out the wrinkles on me. And I like that.

Alright, alright. Thank you foot for the update. So, as you can see, the time off from activity has been beneficial. So far, this summer has been going well, too. I am not in any classes but have been spending my time working on a manuscript for a contemporary fiction novel, which means most of my time is spent at a desk, not only exercising my mind but also allowing my foot to heal. I would like to thank my supportive boyfriend for helping make this "internship with myself" possible. I am able to experience the life of a writer and so far, I am loving it (meager pay, blank screens and all)! Other exciting news is that I will be going back to my high school this coming fall to be an assistant cross country coach. I am looking forward to this opportunity as it is something I've always wanted to do. I just didn't think it would be happening this soon. The team has some promising talent and still has Coach Gorby leading the way.

That's it for the updates. This warmer weather is teasing my foot but we'll be back out there soon enough!

The Cleveland Marathon, I was there...

...I got the shirt, I got the goodies, I got a DNS. However, I had fun biking along the course as James ran the 10k. Compared to when I watched the race back in 2007, it definitely has improved. They changed the start and finish lines, making it feel less crowded. There were a ton of port-o-johns so lines were not insane. Overall, it was a great day to run for those that were able to run.

In the meantime, I spent the last week or so doing easy treadmill work that did involve some running but only noticed a slight improvement with pain. So, I made the difficult decision to start all over. This type of injury is hard to overcome because when you are not running, you are still putting pressure on the injury whenever you walk. I haven't run since Thursday and have noticed decreased pain. But some hours during the day, it comes back to haunt me. And haunt me real bad.

I am going to take it week by week right now. All I want to be able to do at this point is run for 30 minutes on the Towpath, that's all. It can even be really slow. I hope resting like this will be the solution to this annoying problem.

Getting ansy!

Took some time off last week while traveling the roads of a few southern states. My mindset going in to the trip was to just relax and not worry about getting a workout in- a mental break of sorts. I have found in the past that after taking a week "off" any bothersome pain is nearly gone when I come back. I didn't take the whole week off, as I did a 6 mile hike in NC and ran away from annoying bumblebees on a disk golf course in VA. Both days there was some pain afterwards but the next day it was minimal. Since then, my achilles on the bum foot has been tight and the bottom of the heel still hurts somewhat.

I then "ran" for 10 minutes on Sunday and Monday to test it out. It was the most comfortable that I've felt running since becoming injured. I could probably start running now but in the long run it may not be a good idea as I started this injury adventure with similar pain. It's as if it's healing by reverting back to its original state- pre PF pain. Each week feels better and better, I just wish it would go away, or go back to normal, already. The hike and the little 10 minute jogs provided me with a sneak peak of what is to come once this is all said and done. Until then, I will continue to milk the rec's pool and maybe elliptical until my membership expires on May, 10th.

Lessons Learned

It's been nearly one year since I added running back into my daily routine and made it a priority in my life. I started off with a few 1.5 mile jogs around my old neighborhood, worked my way up to including weekend long runs, integrated some tempo work, raced my first half marathon, started a marathon buildup that reached a 40 mile week, got injured, and currently cross training like never before. What an interesting ride it has been. While I will not be able to run the Cleveland Marathon this year, I will be running alongside my roommate, Emily Archer, as she runs her very first 5k. It was hard to succumb to my injury and pull out of the marathon but doing so has proved to be the biggest lesson I have learned-- PATIENCE.

• Once I decided that running was important enough to me that I would make training a daily occurrence and that certain life decisions would be based upon running goals, I realized that there is no need to rush training. A proper marathon buildup (especially for a beginner like me) will take longer than 3 months. In the next year, I plan to slowly focus on building up mileage, speed, and intensity, not run any marathons anytime soon, only run a race if the timing is right (i.e. don't register for a race 3 months in advance, rather register for low key races a few weeks out), and find a balance between training and life.

Other lessons:

• Being injured is not the end of the world, in fact it can be fun. I think I've made more strides and improvement in cross training than I have running. Never did I think I could muster up enough motivation to aqua jog for an hour, swim a mile, and be able to use the elliptical hands-free (ellipti-running) without falling off! Once I am ready to start running again, I feel that while I may not be ready to go fast at first, I will feel fresh, in shape, and stronger.
• When old "fast" paces start to feel easy, it means the work is paying off. When it feels hard, it means that work needs to be done. When I was starting to train hard, 7:30s felt quite easy. I had never been at such a level and that was encouraging for future training. It helped me to learn how to read my body.
• You don't have to be anal to be a runner. Being too anal will cause stress, anxiety, and OCDs to develop, like I can't run at night or I can't run after eating ice cream or I can't run without my iPOD or I can't run in Dickie's. Not being anal enough can also have a negative effect on training as well so the idea is to find a good balance. I'm still trying to figure out my ideal balance.
• STRETCH, STRETCH, AND MORE STRETCH-- especially my calves.
• A troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as letsrun.com
• EveryBODY is different- different responses to training, hours of sleep, training goals, outlooks on life, handling stress, the list goes on and on. What helps is learning about these differences, trying some out, and being open to suggestions.

With that all said, good luck to those who are running any of the races at the Cleveland Marathon, whether it's the full, the half, the 10k, or the 5k. I know there are quite a few of you out there! In the meantime, I am looking forward to the day (and I feel like it will be very soon) that I can join you all back on the pavement. And when that happens, I will feel like a new person.

Weekly Recap...just trying to be pain free at this point

Monday: 80 minutes in pool- 60 min aqua jog, 20 min swim

Tuesday: 50 minutes various activities (inc. running!)- went to Wooster to visit James's coach, Matt Woods, of Real Fitness. He offered some input on my foot, cross training, and marathon prep. Like I realized last week, there is no need to rush a marathon. It's best to ease back into it (started with 3 x 5 minutes of running). This approach will lengthen my base training and better prepare me for a fall marathon (pending no more injuries). I plan to try running every other day with this approach for the next week or two while cross training in between. The more I swim and aqua jog, the more I want to integrate it into my training when I am not injured! It will be interesting to see how it has payed off.

Wednesday: 73 minutes in pool- aqua jogging, 10 min w/up, 4 x mile simulations (7:35, 7:37, 7:29, 7:23) with 90 seconds rest in between (except last repeat, 2 min 40 sec rest to go pee), then 10 min cool down. Felt moderately difficult, heart rate got up to 160. After jog, swam 1000 meters around 24 minutes. My swimming is getting a little faster, but focusing more on duration and aerobic base than speed.


Thursday: Started off with 5 minute walking warm-up, excited as hell to try running again after having minimal pain all day. Then as soon as I started running, the pain kicked in. I couldn't even hold 2 minutes of running. I kept pronating inward on the bum foot. My form felt funny and I didn't want to adjust or compensate for the pain so I started walking again. I used 10 minutes as my warm-up then hit the stationary bike for 30 minutes and went up to the track to try walk/jog again. Duh me, the tighter curves didn't help with the pronating so that only lasted a minute. I went back to the treadmill to try walking but there was pain so I raised the white flag and called it a night. Currently, the foot is not getting any worse (when I'm not active) but it's not getting any better. I'm not going to start running again until the pain is all gone. F U plantar fasciitis!

Friday: 50 minute swim

Saturday: 60 minutes elliptical. Foot was feeling ok before workout then started to ache a lot afterwards. Not sure if this was due to incorporating a new cross training activity or the stupid PF. I think I will stick to swimming and biking as my main activities. Although, I felt like I had a nice workout aerobically, as I held a 6.8 mph pace (an improvement from my past elliptical efforts). I actually was averaging 7.5 mph for the first 30 minutes but bathroom troubles slowed me down for the last 30 minutes.

Sunday: Off

TOTAL: 5 hr 53 min cross training

Weekly Recap

Monday: Swim 30 min
Tuesday: Swim 60 min
Wednesday: Swim 61 min
Thursday: Swim 40 min
Friday: Swim 73 min
Saturday: Bike 11 miles
Sunday: Swim 40 min

TOTALS: Swim 5 hours, bike 11 miles

Got serious this week about cross training and it worked to my advantage. I noticed my mood improve around Wednesday. I made sure to push myself each time I went in the pool and as a result, I doubled the amount of time I previously did in the past during cross training. I also had a nice bike session on Saturday. It was an easy ride, not really a workout for me, but for James. I felt like the pace car during a marathon! If I couldn't run, it was at least nice to ride alongside someone else who is able to.

Still taking it day by day with the foot. Today it feels better but there is still pain. It's similar to the pain I had throughout the last few months before I messed it up in my workout a few weeks ago. That makes me think that whatever snapped is healing. I will be getting the foot looked at tomorrow so that should help with direction as well.

Me, a few days ago: My foot hurts. The pain makes any other ailment I ever had seem like just a case of a sore muscle. I believe this is my very first injury and it had to come at a perfect time: halfway through marathon training. I worked so hard to establish a nice base and I was well on my way to experiencing runs beyond 2 hours. Crap.

Me, today: Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? I don't know when or how I screwed up my foot but it did hinder my spring race plans. However, why was I rushing to do a spring marathon? Well, when I signed up for the race, I was only in school at the time. I figured it would be easier to train while I was in school. Training hard when I had to go back to the "real world" would be too difficult, I could only do it recreationally and say goodbye to my Boston dreams. I forgot I had these thoughts a few months later when I found myself working a full time job that was 1.5 hours away and still going to grad school. Everything happened so fast!

It wasn't until this injury that I realized I was doing it already! I was working full time and training my hardest. Granted this work-school-run schedule didn't work out in the "long run", it was great practice for learning how to prioritize! School and running have now become my focus, which I am very fortunate to be able to do.

I also learned a great lesson in patience. I was rushing to get in quality training. To be able to run the time I want to run, I know I need more than 3 months to train. But this little mishap is just a bump in the long road ahead.

For the last three days, it has been uncomfortable to walk. Though, each day the pain is less severe and the walking, less awkward. I believe my pool workout last night gave me the inspiration I needed to continue fighting through this challenge. I finally swam a mile and aqua-jogged for a solid twenty minutes. To maintain the fitness I built up this winter, I know I'm going to have to push myself each day cross training, which I've never done before. Cross training usually leaves me bored but probably because I never pushed the limits. Swimming that mile put me in a zone similar to running where the mind wants to stop. And like a run, I didn't listen. I kept on keeping on.

I've planned for the worst case scenario, which is 4 weeks off from running but active rest in the pool. If the foot gets better each day, like it has been, it may not be that long, more along the lines of 2 weeks off. Whether I'll be doing the marathon or the half marathon is still TBA. But I won't let the running break spoil my training, as I still plan on showing up in Cleveland on Sunday, May 16th.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 30 minute swim
Tuesday: Off, new shoes Nike Lunarglide
Wednesday: 30 minute swim
Thursday: 30 minute swim
Friday: 3.4 miles
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 7 miles

TOTAL: 10.4 miles, 90 minutes of swimming

After my long run last Sunday at race pace, it was very difficult to walk. I decided to swim on Monday just to be safe. On Tuesday, it was a lot easier to walk and the weather was beautiful so I decided to try and run. It didn't go so well. My foot hurt from the start. I called it a night and finally invested in a new model of trainers that I had been eyeing for awhile, the Nike Lunarglides. They felt like heaven when I tested them out. In fact, it didn't hurt to run. I still wanted to take it easy so I swam the next few days. When I finally attempted another run on Friday, the foot didn't hurt so bad. Saturday's run never happened. Instead I slept for about 16 hours. And then today, I went out for 7 painful miles. I'm not sure if it's the weather or an injury but I will need to take it day by day the next week or so and I need to make some major readjustments to my racing goals. Luckily, if the condition worsens and sets me behind in my long runs, I can change my race entry to the half marathon. I have that. I also can treat Cleveland as a long training run for fall marathon prep. This last week was a tough one all around with work, school, and running all catching up on me. It was hard to stay focused. It was as if I had reached my tolerance for balancing it all. I'd compare it to hitting the wall during a marathon and I had to stop and walk for awhile.

Unexpected turn for the better

They hit the roads a little later than planned, though there's still enough time to see the sun. Hell, they’ll even see it set. He’s got his mind on other things but so does she. And they don’t mind. In those seven minutes together, they not only warm-up their legs but their minds as well. There’s something about today that feels so damn good. His legs start to pick up and soon enough he is off into the distance. She is not tempted to catch up but she doesn't slow down. It's off to their own places that they go.

He looks back at his past: countless days spent on the roads, the grass, in the mud, on rubber, moving in circles. There is still time, he says.

She looks ahead: no one in front, only an empty road. The possibilities are endless.

He knows the times he has run. And how close he has come. But is it worth it? She knows what she wants to run, but can she do it? What's the point, when no one else is counting?

He is out for 13 miles. She, 10. Each with a mile to go, they meet again at 862 feet of elevation, the biggest climb of this jaunt. Neither one expected to be together again, even if only for 10 seconds. His legs continue to glide, in sync for the last seventy or so minutes. "Nice job." she says. "Likewise." He replies. And passes again.

It's now dark and not a street light in sight. The final 800 meters feel so smooth. At the stop of the wristwatch, it's not totally impossible to think that 26.2 could feel this good. It's just a matter of time, that desire to make the effort and the heart to take the risk. They may not hold the same pace but they've got what it takes to win their own race.

Weekly Recap

Monday: 3.4 miles
Easy run on Painesville bike trail. First twenty minutes were cold, windy, and achy (9:55 average mile) but I felt a little surge on the last mile and comfortably came home in 8:36.

Tuesday: 7 mile progression run in 60:52
Trying to integrate shorter progression runs to prepare for at least one long run that is a progression run (targeting a 16 mile progression run that ends at or is slightly faster than marathon pace). While my time did not significantly improve from last week's 7 mile progression run, I was able to keep the pace every time I transitioned into a faster zone whereas last week, I struggled and had to take the pace down a few times. I started miles 1-2 in 9:00/mile, 3-4 in 8:41/mile, 5-6 in 8:30/mile, and the last mile around 8:15. My heel was tight for much of the run but I think the blister on my pinky toe may have had an effect on the heel as I found myself changing my stride slightly. A foot massage later helped ease the tightness.

Wednesday: Off
Rested my foot and invested in better work shoes with inserts. They feel great! Part of my heel pain was probably due to wearing ballet slipper-style flats to work and being on my feet for most of the day with little support.

Thursday: 6 miles (1.5 warm-up, 3 mile tempo in 24:52, 1.5 cool down)
Heel did not hurt like Tuesday's run so that's a plus. I was going to do another progression run but things took a turn for the worse when my mp3 batteries died. Ha, I only like music when I am on a treadmill so it felt like the end of the world. I'm such a baby sometimes. So I toughed it up and decided to do some tempo work after the 1.5 mile warm up and battery fiasco. I started with a 8:36 mile and eventually worked up to 8:00 for the last mile. It was moderately hard but not all out. It felt harder on the treadmill than on a road but that meant good practice for holding a quicker pace and not allowing my mind to give up. I found that it was only uncomfortable for the first minute or so when changing gears. The last mile was more comfortable than the other two so I am encouraged by that as I have gone out too fast and faded to a slower speed in 5ks.


Friday: 7 miles
Easy run to Sand Run trails. I saw a guy runner approaching me when I turned around so I took the opportunity to push myself for about 2.5 miles, seeing if I could hold "the lead". I felt great and he never did pass. Portage Trail hill at the end of the run did not feel overly difficult, the traffic was more annoying than the actual effort.

Saturday: 5.6 miles
Easy run in the sun. The sun. The sun! Hi, sun! Glad to have you back!

SUNday: 10.5 miles in 88:25
Medium long run outside, Lock 29 to Ira Road loop. The last time I ran this route (about a month and a half ago) I ran it in 101 minutes. I had not planned to hold Boston qualifying pace, I just ran what felt right. I carried 8:25 fairly easily, even accounting for a hill at the end. I finished strong and was very happy with this effort. My foot was achy afterwards and continues to be "iffy". I am going to swim tonight and most likely treat this upcoming week as a lower mileage week before embarking on 16+ mile long runs.

TOTAL: 39.5

Weekly Recap

Monday: Off

Tuesday: 7 miles in 61:03

Wednesday: 6 miles (1 mile warm-up., 4 x 1600, 7:24, 7:34, 7:36, 7:30, 90 sec rest in between each repeat, 1 mile cool down)

Thursday: Off

Friday: 6 miles in 53:12

Saturday: 14 miles in 2h 16min 23 sec

Legs felt great, no noticeable heal pain. Was quite thirsty, drank Powerade every mile. Mentally wasn't too distracted with negative thoughts, though miles 9-12 were somewhat of a challenge. I was pleased that my body felt strong. I had a little trouble walking after the run due to new blisters and had some lightheadedness afterwards as well, but mostly likely due to not eating enough before the run or anything immediately after. For my longest run to date, I am very pleased. Eating pasta right now...it never tasted so good! Ben & Jerry's is up next!

Sunday: 3 miles, easy

TOTAL: 36 miles

Weekly Recap

Monday: Off

Tuesday: 4 miles
Snowy, cold evening run. Blah. I have officially begun to complain about winter.

Wednesday: 5 miles (1 mile warm-up-8:14, 3 x 1600- 7:09, 7:23, 7:19, 1 mile cool down-9:06)
Track workout at the Kent State Field house. It was busy with runners of all abilities, felt inspiring in a way. Most consistent mile workout I've ever had. Very positive in regards to my winter base training. Just need to remember to start off a bit slower and progressively get faster each time.

Thursday: 6 miles in 53:47
Treadmill run around 9pm- despite the late start, I did not feel sluggish. Wore my Lunaracers and felt light, minimal pain too.

Friday: 5 miles
Treadmill run at the Independence Holiday Inn. Felt unmotivated for the first three miles but after that, talked myself back into finishing the mileage I planned on doing. Spent some time in the pool and sauna afterwards which was nice.

Saturday: Off

Sunday: 13 miles in 2:01:26
Long run outdoors around 3pm. The weather was amazing! We missed the morning sun but the temperature made it easier to cover such a distance. Went out to Sand run then to Revere Rd and Market Street (miles 15-19ish of the Akron Marathon) and then back down in the Valley and out towards Bath Rd then back up Portage Trail hill to Timbertop. I felt minimal pain and enjoyed being lightly dressed. I did start to feel tired around an hour and half for about ten minutes but regained buoyancy afterwards (tried not to focus on how long I had been running and focus more on form) and finished strong. I'm ready to begin focusing on 2 hour+ long runs from here on out!

TOTAL: 33 miles

Introspection

I originally planned to work in an off day on my birthday as I had work all day and wanted to allow some time in the evening to relax and get dinner with friends. However, I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate 27 years than by doing a track workout. The last few times I did 3 x 1600, I was stuck in the 7:45s. Last night, my splits were 7:09, 7:23, 7:19. Granted, I started off a little too fast, but overall, my attempt at consistency is paying off. It may sound funny, but for the first time in my life, I feel in shape. A 7:15 pace felt like a 7:45 pace. What's even more exciting is knowing that there is still new territory to explore!

I did the workout at the Kent State Field house, about 5.5 laps for a mile. Each time I hit the backstretch, I looked up at the large monitor that displayed the date, 2/17/2010. For some reason, this inspired me to continue to push through each lap. I could have spent this day in so many other ways. What made me lace up my shoes when I could have been taking off my work shoes and falling to the couch? What made me want to put my body through discomfort when I could have been napping? What made me want to recover with water breaks instead of coming home to recover from work with a beer? (Though that does sounds good, too!)...

It was the idea of pushing my body to another level. It was to test my body's current level of fitness. It was to validate the last few months of cold runs in the snow at midnight or the boring treadmill runs without headphones or the sluggish runs after driving in a car for two hours. It was to watch my hot boyfriend run around in circles, too. And it was to splurge at dinner later that evening. But most importantly, it was to express my gratitude to be able to run, to continue to improve, and to have put in 27 healthy years. Here's to many more years and miles ahead...

Weekly Recap

Monday: 4.8 miles (41:40)
Night run around Aurora/Rt.43. Started off cold and crabby but ended strong and loose. Also had my first fall of the year, a slip on ice = a mark on butt.

Tuesday: 3 miles
First run in Painesville on the Lake Metroparks bike trail. The wind and snowfall made it hard to see but the path wasn't too filled yet with snow making the surface feel like a fluffy blanket. However, the run pretty much sucked as I felt very sluggish.

Wednesday: 4.5 miles (1 mile warm up, 6 x 800s on indoor track, 800 cool down)
Ate a jumbo hot dog right before the run and felt it after the third repeat. I was going to call it a day but then thought about the feeling I would have later at night if I would have not even tried to continue the workout. I took a longer recovery and mentally got back into finishing the workout after the 4th repeat, making that my accomplishment for the night as splits were not as fast as I expected them to be. However, for feeling stiff, being indoors on a small track, and having a hot dog digest while running, I am pretty happy with the results (3:38, 3:41, 3:48, 3:48, 3:49, 3:46).

Thursday: 4 miles
The plan was to run 8 miles but the sluggish streak continued. I cut it short at 4 miles. My right heel was pretty dull and my left shin began to ache more during the run. It didn't help that my mp3 broke a couple days ago and so I was left listening to a FM radio that didn't tune well while on the treadmill. Boo-hoo, I say. Mentally, I have not been into my running this week so far and this day I hit rock bottom. When I got home last night, I noticed I had not taken any days off since last Friday. Normally this wouldn't be an issue but I have not yet trained this hard in my career. I probably should have taken a day off after my long run on Sunday.

Looking ahead, I am going to rest tomorrow in an effort to prepare for another weekend long run. Then next week, I will focus more on distance than speed as I am lacking in supporting volume (to the long run) each week. I do feel that the majority of my issue this week is a mental one. However, I am going to monitor my heel and shin just to be safe (i.e. cut the long run short if needed).

Friday: Off
Mentally recovering...the more negative and complain-y I get, the more achy I feel. I believe that because I am entering new territory, I am going to be more tempted to give up. It's a small hill I am climbing right now.

Saturday: 9.2 miles (90 minutes)
Took it easy and experienced minimal pain, evidence that most of my issue is mental as I increase mileage. I went 8:30 pace for a good M.I.A. song and noticed my heal and shin feel better as I went faster. I think these issues are biomechanical so I will continue to analyze the theory that faster means healthier for me, or at least more efficient.

Sunday: 5 miles (44:24)
Midnight run with the "ex" boyfriend around the Northhamptom neighboorhood. Wore my Lunaracers because I feel most efficient with them. It's possible I operate better with a lighter shoe, I certainly feel like I do. Great way to not only end a sluggish week, but to end one of my favorite holidays ;)

TOTAL: 30.5

Weekly Recap

Monday: Off

Recover from traveling.


Tuesday: 5 miles (1 mile warm-up, 3 mile tempo in 24:16, 1 mile cool down)

Felt pretty sluggish. However, I did start slower and finished faster (8:18, 8:04, 7:50).


Wednesday: 3 miles

Easy recovery run outside. I hadn't run outdoors in over a week! Portage Trail hill was the easiest its ever been, too.


Thursday: 7 miles (3 miles at 8:56, 1 mile fartlek- 2 min hard, 3 min easy, 2.5 miles at 8:56, and last 800 meters in 3:22)

This run proved I'm getting used to the treadmill and that my fitness is improving. During the fartlek kicks, I was able to hold paces in the low 7s and it felt easier than last week. I started my final 800 a little fast but held a 7:23 pace pretty easily after the first minute and a half. I was also happy that I was able to continue to hold 9 flat when recovering from the kicks.

Friday: Off

Saturday: 4 miles

Another outdoor run, started off very achy and windy but fell into a nice groove rather quickly given the conditions.

Sunday: 12 miles in 1:47:50 (8:59 pace)

Longest run in a few months and longest run ever on a treadmill. Once I hit 6 miles it was easier to focus, but mile 8 was the toughest, probably because the longest I've gone on a treadmill was 8. The last mile felt strong and I was able to kick at the end. Recovery-wise, I was pretty tired afterwards and I'm achy today but I don't feel drained.

TOTAL: 31 miles

Weekly Recap

Monday: 6 miles (4 miles of 2 min hard-7:50s to 6:53s pace and 3 min recovery)

Tuesday: 3 miles recovery run (27:30)

Wednesday: 4 miles (last mile moderate-hard pace, lost count of laps not sure of the time)

Thursday: SLEEEEEP

Friday: Travel

Saturday: Travel, dancing

Sunday: 8.2 miles

TOTAL: 21.2 miles

Started the week off strong and planned on getting in a solid 30 miles but by the time Thursday came around, my body told me otherwise. It was craving sleep so I napped for two hours that evening (the best two hour nap ever!) and then proceeded to get 5 more hours of sleep that night. Last minute travel plans enabled my foot and body to rest but it took me awhile to realize the benefit of having a lower mileage week. Over an egg sandwich and hashbrowns at a Waffle House in WV, I reasoned that it would be best to have a down week before beginning mileage in the 30s and 40s. After coming to this conclusion, I subsequently felt better about my training and enjoyed the remainder of my weekend travels. This week I will concentrate on sleep a little more and try not to start off so hard early in the week as it's comparable to starting off a race faster than your body has trained to go. I must find a good pace in proceeding forward. And drink up on green tea as my travel buddy is sick. I might be next! Get well James :)

Weekly Recap

Monday: Off



Tuesday: 4.3 miles, treadmill. 1 min hard pace pick-up (ranged from 8:00-6:53 pace each minute), 2 min easy for 2.5 miles.



Wednesday: 6 miles easy, treadmill



Thursday: 4.5 miles, road. Last mile in 7:10.



Friday: Off



Saturday: 10.5 miles in 1:41 (9:42 pace)



Sunday: Off



TOTAL: 25.3



Notes



Starting tomorrow, I will be 16 weeks out from the Cleveland Marathon (May 16th). While my heel has been questionable during this maintenance phase, it seems to have gotten better. Some days it will be achy, usually when I am cold. During a run, it may ache for the first 10 minutes and then subside for the rest of the run. I would like to work up to 50 miles per week during this marathon training program but have to do so carefully so as to avoid injury, especially since I have never trained at such mileage.



I got more sleep this past week than the previous week so that was good, though Wednesday's mid-week long run was a bit of a struggle, probably because I didn't get as much recovery sleep from Tuesday's harder workout. However, I ran a nice 7:10 for the last mile on Thursday's run, my fastest mile in years.



For the next three weeks, I plan to run 5-6 days a week, focusing on increasing the distances of my easy runs. I plan on building my long run up to 15 miles. I will also increase the minutes of my treadmill pick-up workout (2-3 min hard at 7:30-6:30). Lastly, on Thursdays, I will continue to run an easy 4-6 miles, with the last mile run at 85-90% effort.

4.3 miles

Had some fun with the treadmill tonight:

1 mile warm-up @9:40

1 min pickups, then 2 min easy for 2 miles (pickups started at 8:00 then progressed by 10 seconds until the last pickup was at 6:53)

800 meter cool down @ 10:00

I figured if I'm going to get any faster, I need to spend more time in the 7:00-8:00 minute mile zone when doing harder workouts. I feel as if I successfully accomplished speed workouts in 8:00-9:00 minute mile zone this fall, it's time to move on up. In fact, when I was in the 8:00-7:30 zone tonight, it didn't feel as hard as it did a few weeks ago. I also ran the last mile of a 5 mile run last week in 7:23. It's been a while since I've been there. And damn, it felt good.

Beginner

Technically, I've been running for about ten years. But lately, I feel as if I am just beginning. I feel as if I am just starting to understand what it means to be a runner. It doesn't mean having the latest technological gear, the coolest watch, or the best shoes. It doesn't mean you are fast or slow or even entering fancy races. To me, running is a way of life and a way of thinking-- thinking and reacting on the fly, a consistent process of problem solving through mental challenges.

I used to think I couldn't run on any given day if I didn't get it in before the sky turned dark. I used to think I couldn't run after eating ice cream. I used to think I should take off from running in the winter because it just wasn't worth the cold, snow, or time spent on the treadmill. I used to be afraid to face change and deviation from a schedule. Ever since I started running again last summer, I feel a parallel between my personal life and running life.

I feel more brave with my running, a more confident stride. When I finish a workout, this confidence does not stop. I try to carry it over to my professional life. I have taken on multiple challenges with my new job, territory I've always wanted to venture into but was never brave enough to try. My mental toughness at work needs trained just as much as my legs and lungs need trained. I sometimes worry that I may be taking on more than I can handle with school, work, and running. However, I am at least going to try.